We’ve started a new blog Tumblr – Hillary Told You So! It basically consists of photos of Hillary Clinton smugly lecturing us on why it was a mistake not to vote for her. Below are a couple sneak preview photos.

Bill Clinton has a long history with Rahm's cock

BY DEREMY UNDERHILL

Chicago, Ill. – Former President Bill Clinton’s upcoming visit to boost Rahm Emanuel’s cock in the hotly-contested Chicago mayoral race is creating a firestorm from the other candidates who he isn’t coming to endorse.

It’s believed Mr. Clinton will take some time away from his presidential library and rampant philandering to visit the Windy City later this month on behalf of his former expletive-spewing adviser.

“During my time in the White House – back when the economy was much stronger and America was much safer – I had Rahm’s cock beside me every step of the way in making the tough decisions,” said Mr. Clinton in a statement. “I consider it to be one of the most upstanding members of my administration, one who always stood firm for its beliefs. By electing Rahm’s cock as their mayor, Chicagoans will be getting a straight shooter who will tirelessly press forward– again and again – in meeting the challenges facing their great city.”

Mr. Emanuel’s opponents were quick to jump on Mr. Clinton’s visit, saying it was proof the former Obama Chief of Staff’s long absence from the Chicago scene meant he needed outside help to win.

“Frankly, I think Bill Clinton needs to butt out and let Rahm’s cock fend for itself,” said former Chicago School Board President Gery Chico. “The citizens of Chicago can make up their own minds whether they or not want a cock running their city without the help of Washington outsiders.”

Emanuel’s main rival, former US Sen. Carol Moseley Braun, was even harsher in her appraisal of Mr. Clinton’s pending arrival.

“Bill Clinton played the race card in South Carolina by saying Barack Obama’s career was a fairy tale,” she said in a speech to supporters on the city’s West side. “For him to parachute in here like Spider-Man with that type of history behind him is divisive and destructive. Let me be clear: If anyone is going to divisively and destructively play the race card in this campaign, it’s going to be me.”

Mr. Emanuel’s cock, currently out of the country on a “long planned” five week yacht tour of Barbados, had strong words for the former Senator in a telephone interview with the Associated Press.

“Carol Moseley Braun can f*cking choke on me,” it said. “In fact, you can all f*cking choke on me. First off, that Spider-Man analogy doesn’t even make sense – he never needed a m*therfucking parachute, he used spider webs. Second, I’m 20 points ahead, got more money than God and 90 percent of my dead voters have already cast their motherf*cking ballots. There’s no stopping it – in Chicago, 2011 truly is going to be the ‘Year of The Cock.’”